


My Saving Grace

by deanlovescasposts



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accepting Sam Winchester, Alive Mary Winchester, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Bottom Dean, Charlie Ships It, Closeted Dean, Confused Dean, Cuddling, Depressed Dean, Depression, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay Castiel, Happy Ending, Homophobic John Winchester, Homophobic Language, Hurt Dean Winchester, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Matchmaker Charlie, New Kid Castiel, Scars, Self-Acceptance, Self-Harm, Sexual Tension, Smut, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Top Castiel, Virgin Castiel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 15:35:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11671986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanlovescasposts/pseuds/deanlovescasposts
Summary: Dean is feeling really low. He's confused and tired of everything. He is really hurting. Then he meets Castiel. They become best friends and Dean feels like he really has someone to rely on. It's a rough and rocky road but they get through it together.





	My Saving Grace

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry in advance for any typos. (Warning there is homophobic language in this chapter.)

“Could you freakin hurry up Dean! You’re gonna use all the hot water!” Sam’s voice snapped Dean out of his daze. 

“Calm down Sammy.” Sam groaned so loud Dean could hear from the shower. He quickly rinsed off and got out just to get Sam off his case. He dried off and wrapped a towel around his waist. As he left the bathroom he and Sam exchanged dirty looks. As soon as Dean got to his room and locked the door behind him he collapsed onto his bed. He couldn’t shut his brain off today. Dean just kept thinking.

After about ten minutes he finally forced himself to move and get dressed. He had plans to hang out with his friends today and as much as he didn’t want to go, he knew he couldn’t just bail on them. It was going to be another fake-smile kind of day.

When he emerged from his room and walked into the kitchen he was greeted by the strong smell of sizzling bacon and his mother softly humming.

“Mornin’ Dean.” His father, John was sitting with a cup of black coffee and the newspaper in his hand, just like in the tv shows.

“Hey dad. Hey mom.”

“Good morning Dean. Sit down and eat some breakfast.” His mom, Mary gestured for him to sit so he obliged. She had cooked up an elaborate breakfast with all the fixins. There was bacon, fried eggs, sausage links, pancakes, and one of Dean’s favorite foods in the world (aside from pie obviously), his mom’s homemade waffles. Dean immediately started stuffing his face as soon as he saw those golden, buttery waffles. A few minutes later Sam sat beside him, hair still soaking wet from his shower. 

“You used all the hot water, jerk.” With that Sam gave Dean a hard punch to the shoulder.

“Go cry about it bitch.” Dean was not in the mood today.

“Hey don’t act like that Dean.” Their mom was staring Dean down. She didn’t like it when they cursed. Dean knows to back down when their mother gets that look so he held his hands up in defeat then continued eating. Their dad hadn’t looked up from the paper once during breakfast.

“Do you boys have any big plans for today?” Mary asked them. Her death glare had turned to a smile in an instant. Before dean had a chance to reply, Sam was already talking.

“We’re gonna see a movie then head on over to Benny’s with everybody.” Sam and Dean were just over a year apart in age so they had pretty much the same friends. They’d been hanging out with the same group since elementary school. There had been a few stragglers come and go but they usually just left after a while to hang out with cooler people. 

Sam and their mother talked for a few minutes about the movie but were then interrupted by John.

“I can’t believe this.” He wasn’t yelling yet but you couldn’t miss the anger in his voice.

“What’s wrong honey?” Mary hesitated to ask but she did it anyway. That was probably not a good idea.

“The faggots! They’re making a damn youth center for them. In Lawrence!” Definitely a bad idea. “This is disgusting I don’t want even more homos to think it’s okay. Especially kids when they still have a chance!” John was yelling now. John Winchester was the biggest, most vocal homophobe Dean had ever met. He would actively ruin people’s days. He’d go up to every same sex couple he saw and tell them what a disgrace they were. Yeah, he was that guy. Dean wanted to bolt but he knew he couldn’t without looking suspicious.

“I’m gonna have to talk to whoever let this happen. I’ll write an email right now.” John got up and left the room. It was silent now.

“We better get going if we want to get there on time Sammy. Bye mom, see you later.” Dean grabbed his keys and wallet and walked out to his baby.

Once he was inside his face fell into his hands. He had to try his hardest not to start crying right there. He couldn’t because then he would have to explain to Sam why he was blubbering like a baby. 

Dean hated life. He’d been hating it for a long time now. He hated life since he realized he was bisexual. Since he realized what would happen to him if he told anybody. His dad would kick his ass then throw him out of the house. He’d get bullied. He had gay best friends, hell his best friend was a lesbian but it was different for them. They’d been out for practically their entire lives. They had supportive parents and a home. Dean wouldn’t have either if he came out. So he pretended. He’d been wearing a fake smile for years now. He hadn’t told a soul. It was starting to get too hard.

A few minutes later when Dean heard Sam approaching the car. He put on his most annoyed face.

“Dude what took you so long?” Sam hadn’t even shut the door yet when Dean started to pull away

“Sorry I had to dry my hair off and finish eating. Why are you in such a rush?”

“I don’t like being around dad when he’s angry and I wanted to get good seats.” The ten minute car ride to the movie theater was silent. Sam could tell Dean was in a bad mood but he didn’t want to ask about it and piss him off. 

Jessica, Charlie, and Gabe were already there when Dean pulled up. They looked as happy as always. Jess ran up to sam and gave him a huge kiss. They had been dating since they were 13 and were always together. 

“What’s up bitches.” That was Charlie’s normal greeting. Dean and Charlie were best friends. Their whole group was really close but Dean was closest with Charlie. She was one of his favorite people outside of his family. They all chatted nonstop until Crowley and Kevin showed up together. They were driven by the well respected Mrs. Tran, Kevin’s mom. She was a scary lady.

They bought their tickets for the latest scary movie and got some popcorn. The lights were already off when they made it to the theater and of course, Gabe tripped over a step and face planted. The entire theater erupted into laughter, including Gabe. He got up and salvaged as much of the popcorn he spilled as he could then they made their way to their seats. As soon as they sat down the previews ended and the movie started. 

Dean couldn’t focus on the movie at all. He couldn’t turn his thoughts off. His mind kept wandering to the incident this morning and every single homophobic thing and derogatory gay joke he’d heard in his life. He wanted to punch something and cry at the same time. He wanted his mom to hold him and tell him everything is okay. He wanted to be normal.

The movie was over before he knew it and Charlie had to shake him out of his daze.

“Dean are you alright? You haven’t really been acting right lately.” Charlie spoke low enough so only Dean could hear her. She was right. Dean was acting moody recently and it was getting harder and harder to keep pretending that he wasn’t hurting. He was sick of it.

“No I’m fine don’t worry about me. Let’s go to Benny’s.” He got out of that conversation as fast as he could.

They got in their separate cars, this time Kevin and Crowley got in the backseat of the impala. They drove to their favorite restaurant, Benny’s Cajun Kitchen. Dean didn’t speak at all during the drive but the other three guys were laughing the entire time. Once they got there the hostess picked out the biggest booth there and they all squeezed in. A couple minutes later a waiter started walking up to them.

Him and Dean locked eyes. 

The guy almost tripped over his own feet when it happened. No one else noticed him yet. That boy was gorgeous. He had dark brown hair sticking up every which way and the prettiest damn blue eyes Dean had ever seen, ever. Everything about him was beautiful. When he came up to the table he spoke without ever breaking eye contact.

“Hello. My name is Castiel and I’ll be your server today.”

////////////////////////////////////

“Castiel you better get your ass up before I come in there and whack you with a spoon.” Missouri had been yelling at Cas to wake up for ten minutes now.

“Alright, alright I’m up mom.” Cas was exhausted but he had to get ready. By the time he was done showering and brushing his teeth he still had half an hour before he had to leave for work. He had gotten his job at Benny’s Cajun Kitchen right after he moved here. He had to bring in money to help out his family and he could not spend all day, every day with his insane siblings.

He was just about to sit down and watch tv before he left but then his brother snatched the remote out of his hands.

“Balthazar give that to me.”

“Oh come on Cassie don’t be so antisocial. Talk to me.” Balthazar was 19 and was staying with his family for the summer before he started his second year at Juilliard. He was trying to become a famous pianist.

“Okay what do you want to talk about.” Cas mustered up the fakest smile he could.

“Anything. How’s work. Do you have any friends yet? Do you have a boy toy yet?” He winked at the last question.

“Okay I’m leaving now.” Castiel tried to get up but Balthazar pushed him back down to the couch and sat beside him.

“Are you really not going to give me any of the juicy details Cassie? I’m your big brother just talk to me.” Balthazar was practically begging him now but the truth was there were no juicy details. Their family had moved to Lawrence, Kansas about two months ago and Castiel had zero friends. His coworkers would barely even talk to him. There was nothing to tell his big brother.

“Work’s good, no close friends yet, and definitely no boy toy.” Cas tried to not sound upset, he didn’t want his brother to think he was a loser.

“Then can you please come to a party with me. We can get plastered, make some friends, and find some hot college boy to hook you up with. It will be awesome!” Balthazar had been trying to convince Cas to go to parties with him since Cas got to highschool.

“Would you just give up on trying to make me go to dumb parties with you.”

“I will when you go to just one.”

“No. I have to leave now or I’ll be late to work.” Castiel got his keys and almost left without saying goodbye.

“Bye mom. Bye Anna. I’ll be home later.”

Castiel drove to work and thought about Balthazar's offer. He considered going to one but he shot it down. He had never gotten drunk or high before and he definitely didn’t want to start at a college party. Besides he would make friends soon right? He had been hoping that he wouldn’t be so lonely when school started next week. He was going to be a junior at a pretty small school. Much smaller than his last school. He hoped the people were nicer than at his last school.

When he got to work it was 8:00 and already packed. Saturday mornings were the busiest for breakfast. It was also when you made the biggest tips. People were happy with their meal and it was too early for them to have had a bad day so they were generous. He hadn’t even put his stuff in his locker before one of his coworkers, Meg, was telling Cas where to go. She was always bossing him around.

Cas worked three hours before he finally took a break. People were very generous today. He only took ten minutes before he got back to work. The breakfast rush and the lunch rushed ran together. The restaurant had been packed all day. Castiel couldn’t blame them, the food was amazing. Benny, the owner, had made sure the cooks knew what they were doing so they wouldn’t mess up his classic cajun Louisiana recipes.

The next two hours passed quickly since Cas was working so hard. He was about ready to drop from exhaustion. It was almost 1:00 and Cas’ shift was just about to end. He was going to do one more table then head out. He started walking to table eight and rolled his eyes because it was a group of seven teenagers. Most teenagers that came in were annoying and needy. 

Then his eyes met with a pair of green ones staring back at him.

Castiel almost tripped because he was taken aback by how stunning that boy was. He had sharp, green eyes, the most perfect jawline he’d laid eyes on, and curvy, plump lips. The boy’s jaw was hanging slightly open and they didn’t break eye contact.

He walked to the table and introduced himself, never looking away from the boy.

God was Castiel screwed.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you guys liked chapter one! I really want to stick with this fic and make it epic. I'm going to work hard and I want you to love it. Please leave your thoughts and suggestions int the comments!


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